Evolution II

For those that don't know about history...here is a
condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the
splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
   

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned
to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They
became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention
of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

American Evolution

I find this to be very clever.  YMMV.

 

stupidity reigns

The scary part about this is not that I received the item of UCE (SPAM)(junk mail)(whatever), but that this shit exists because there are people stupid (as opposed to ignorant – look up the difference for yourself) to the point that they will get this in their email and say “wow! I had better respond right now!” and send their PIP off into the ether.  Really?!  Just on the sentence construction alone this is a scam.  However, this activity only occurs because someone is turning a profit doing so.

And both side of this are allowed to breed.  I vote for culling the gene pool.

Spam sample follows:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001 DATE 9 7 20 10 ATTENTION: F. B .i This is not a child play, we are ready to take you to any length if you failed to proof the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive. As a Federal Commission we are here to protect your interest and the interest of all the United State citizens as well as this great Nation. You have been investigated as the beneficiary of the said funds that is why you are in touch with the FBI for a solid proof before the funds will be release to you. The said funds is now in U.S Bank in your name which has been placed on hold under the custody of the FBI for further verification and proof before releasing the fund to you. You do not have this document in your files, if you did the fund would not have been hold. We did not believe this at first, but when we saw the transfer we had no option than to contact you. We have gone through your Identification record and also the information received from you, we have verified a lot of things about you. It has come to the attention of our Money Trafficking investigation department, that you have some funds valued at U.S $10,000.000.00 to your name, The said payment is awaiting adjudication and crediting to you this funds are from Inheritance "willed " from C.B.N Bank Nigeria precisely. With full concern of The F.B.I and the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) wish to remind you of the consequences of remitting such huge sums of money without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2003, which stipulates that any monitory transaction been done in the United States Of America, must have proper records, which duly guarantees and covers the transaction as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist associated funds. This is due to ongoing terrorist activities/economic crimes on and against the United States of America citizens. Note that with the information’s we have here, the fund in your name here was release from Federal Republic Of Nigeria. To this regard you are to contact the FBI Nigeria where the fund was release from so that they will issue you the required document because they are the only people that can issue you the document. Nobody else have the right or privilege to issue you this document unless the FBI Nigeria. You are under an observational /Investigation in connection with money laundering. If your funds comes from a legitimate and legal source, the proper guidelines for you to recover the right of transaction is for you to provide the official monitory transaction release document so that your funds will be legally processed and recorded and accounted for and then finally released to you. FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDERING DEPARTMENT) IS HERE to wipe out terrorism, and will stop at no length in doing our duty for the American people. You have 48 hours to produce legal proof of the below frozen wired transaction number coded: 34567112 .... 39AZQV9007 owned by you. You do not have any rights to receive these funds if the documented legal wire information is not complete. For your own good and benefit, you are advice not to send your money to anybody. It have come to our notice that you have been dealing with scammers regarding the present transaction in your name, with the power imposed on us as a high Federal Commission, you are hereby warn and instruction to terminate your involvement with any people or individual contacting you regarding this present transaction.The said funds is now in our custody in your name as the beneficiary, your dealings should be channel to this office alone, if we find out you are still communicating with Imposters you will be charge for advance fraud communication by the Federal Law. The very heart of FBI operations lies in our investigations--which serve, as our mission states, "to protect and defend the United States against terrorist and foreign intelligence threats and to enforce the criminal laws of the United States." So follow our instructions properly to avoid any action before you. We currently have jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal law. So you can see that we can track you down through Investigative programs. We have your address and the evidence and status of your wired funds, so we can arrest you anytime anywhere. Be inform that the funds under the custody of the FBI was confirmed in your name as the beneficiary, according to the Federal Commission, it is mandatory by law you proof the legitimate of the funds in your name by providing the required document to us, failure to comply with the FBI law, legal action will follow according to the FBI United State Federal Constitution. You dont have the required document in your possession, this document are only to be issue to you from the paying country NIGERIA, to this regards you are advice to contact the FBI NIGERIA to obtain the document from them to enable the immediate release of the funds in your name. We have done our verification on your FBI Identification Record with our Social Security Number, the only document left is the required Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) Which should be issue to you from the paying country of the said funds, you are to contact the Federal Bureau Of Investigation(FBI) Nigeria to obtain the above required document, find below their contact information's: Contact Person: Mrs Vivian Royd Email: vivian_royd@yahoo.com <mailto:vivian_royd@yahoo.com> Furthermore, be advice that according to the United State Law together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the FBI Nigeria where the fund was transfer from. Also Note that you are to take care of the Document to be issued to you right away, because due to the content of the document and how important and secured the document is, You are to take care of the document by sending to the FBI Nigeria the sum of $250.00 Dollars only for the issuing of the document right away. That is the only way the FBI Nigeria will issue you the document, because they are going to issue you the Authentic and Original copy of the document. You are here by advice to Contact them through the email address above to acquire from them on how you are going to send the fee to them. Note that you are to do this immediately if you really want your fund to be credited to your personal account and also if you don’t want any action to be fall before you. We have already informed the FBI Nigeria about the present situation, so go ahead and contact them immediately. Your fund is now on our custody and will not be release to you unless the required document is confirmed, After that the fund will be release to you immediately without any delay. NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes. WARNING: failure to produce the above requirement, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you, justificated and if found guilty, you will be jailed. As terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in our community today. The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any criminal who indulge in this criminal act. FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT. Faithfully Your's FBI Director Robert S. Mueller, III

frontier sucks part five

Well, ticket was opened on 1 July.  Here we are 12 days later.  No one has called me.  I was told 11 days ago that someone would call me and resolve this issue “tomorrow.”  That did not happen.

quotes of da day

“I might be beat on talent, but not on effort”

“Good things happen when you up your effort level”

Move e2k3 database manually

Today a client asked me to outline the methods for moving his Exchange 2003 EDB/STM database off of his drive that was going bad.  The ESM directed move was stuck at 100% but was not completeing.  The database/STM in question was about 80GB.  What happens is that the GUI says done, but the eseutil in the background is still running, and will be for many hours. 

There is a manual method – unsupported, but it works nicely.

It has been a long while since I did this, so I decided to get it documented and published so others can find this data also.  Keep in mind that this method is NOT supported by the vendor, and YMMV.  However, I have used this many times very successfully.  The reason behind this are the slowness at which database moves occur from within the ESM.  Slow does not describe it!

· Exchange 2003 will move about 4GB per hour on fast drives.

· This method allows you to use file copy which goes much quicker.

· For a 20GB databases, I have used this method to move the databases in less than 1 hour - an ESM move would have taken over 5 hours.

· 15k SCSI drives will go faster than network, iSCSI, or SATA.

KNOW what filenames you are working with.  Exchange expects the filenames to be EXACT.  When you do these moves, copies and renames, make SURE that you are using the names that Exchange is wanting to see.  Check in the ESM BEFORE you start this process.  I suggest screen shots, writing down notes, etc.  Guessing at this information later will not be fun.

1. Dismount databases

2. Stop the stores

3. Copy the edb and stm to location 'x'

4. Crc check the original against location 'x' to ensure file copy successful (use http://www.febooti.com/products/filetweak/screenshots/calculate-hash-crc-checksum.html or similar)

5. Remove the original files from original location. 

• Suggest a simple rename to keep the files in place.

6. Start Store

7. Mount database.  It will come up and say there is no file, creating a blank will lose data, etc.  Say yes to that.

8. You will have BLANK DATABASES at this point.  ZERO mailboxes.  DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LOGIN.

9. Using ESM standard tools.  MOVE the databases to location "y"

a. This will complete very quickly as you have 5mb, empty databases.

10. Dismount databases

11. Stop store.

12. Move location 'x' files into location 'y'

• If you did the ESM database move to location ‘x’ then you can just rename the files.

13. Start store

14. Mount databases.

15. Finish.  Login and test.

iPhone VM & Exchange

A day late and a dollar short…

I have been using my iPhone for VM and I had forgotten how I set the mailbox for iPhone support.  So I flailed around a bit and then remembered that Tom Pacyk had the info on his blog….

And now it will be here also, so idiots like me don’t forget where to find the info.

set-ummailbox identity –callansweringcodec gsm

You can use g711 also, but it makes huge files.

Exchange 2010 does MP3 as the default, I believe, audio files for VM so this should not be an issue if you have Exchange 2010.